On not wasting time

I've been very fortunate to have made a number of good friends throughout my career. By "friend" I mean someone who will tell you the truth. Whether it's "get the lampshade off your head, moron!" or "why'd you say that? Take a time-out!" - there are lots of people out there who respect me enough (and I respect them in turn) to tell me when I'm being an idiot.

One of them sent me a note yesterday after I posted the "How research is different today" piece (here) and closed the note with "From an anonymous marketing guy (you know, the guys wasting their time "chasing the dollar" - do the bucks just show up on your doorstep now mister big shot analyst?)"

THUMP! Right on my head. And a well deserved thump I'll add. I owe an apology to my friends that do marketing. That comment was unfair and generic. I was trying to voice my own frustration with my own experiences. But thanks to my friend, who made me take a step back and understand why the bitterness over my various marketing experiences has gotten the better of me lately.

At the risk of providing TMI (too much information), this gets back to doing things for the wrong reasons and having regrets about wasting that time. It's easy to say over 8 years later, but I started SHYM because I had illusions of grandeur with all the spoils that entailed, including big boats, houses and airplanes. It was 1998 and that's what everyone strived for. I saw other analysts starting company's, getting acquired, and buying Porsches and I wanted some of that.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard, do what you love and you never work a day in your life. But I didn't believe it. Or didn't want to believe it. And I didn't want to accept what I enjoyed doing - being an analyst. I feared being called an analyst "lifer." Someone who never really did anything but tell everyone else how screwed up they are.

After we sold SHYM, I took another couple of marketing jobs with bigger companies, but still privately held. I gave up the idea of buying the plane, but I certainly was planning on a decent equity kicker as part of the deal. Well, I spent 15 months at each shop and all I had to show for it was about 40 extra pounds and bloody eyes from being poked so much.

Things are coming to a head now because I'm coming up on a year since I left my last marketing job, and candidly - it's been the best year of my career. Contrary to what my friend believes, clients are not throwing money at "Mr. Big Shot Analyst," but I'm paying the bills.

Most importantly I'm having fun. Pretty much every day. My wife tells me that most days I'm a pleasure to be around. My kids are happy to see me when I emerge from my cave, I mean office. Grumpy Mike has gone into hibernation. And good riddance I say.

I relish the time each morning I put together the Daily Incite. I look forward to hearing from folks when I say something controversial. Doing webcasts and speaking engagements get me fired up. I enjoy the advisory and strategy work that I do with clients. Most seem to value my contributions. I'm grateful that I can keep a flexible work schedule, so I am accessible to my family. So it's all good.

And that's the problem. It IS all good, and at times when I see something that really pisses me off about security marketing it brings back all of those bitter memories about the challenges of doing marketing as a job.

I guess looking back I'm feeling like the years I spent marketing were wasted time. It could have been all good a few years ago. Logically that makes no sense because I'm far more effective at what I do because I spent 8 years starting, scaling, and dismantling companies. I raised a ton of money, bought and sold companies and been on both the winning and losing ends in hyper-competitive security markets. No one else that does what I do has as deep or as varied a background. But some days the emotions get the better of the logic.

Do me a favor and don't have any regrets. If you aren't enjoying what you do, make a change. If people aren't treating you right, make a change. If your contributions aren't valued, you got it - make a change. Because you don't want to look back 5 or 10 years from now and say, "I wish I made a change."